Computer Virus Catalog curated by Bas Van De Poel (2014–). Artist interpretations of the greatest viruses from computer history.
I spend so much time alone that if I was ever falsely accused for a crime I would never have an alibi
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Artist unknown? #streetart #illustration #toryscum (at Hackney Marshes)
My sexuality today is 1980s train driver instructional videos.
tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like
“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”
and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent
“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”
“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!”
“How about kimoNO.”
“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”
“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”
“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”
My neighbour has clearly woken up at 4am to find her husband watching porn… this is word for word the conversation I just overheard.
“STOP WATCHING PORN ON MY WRITING COMPUTER!”
“STOP WRITING ON MY PORN COMPUTER!”
“YOU’RE A MARRIED MAN YOU SHOULDN’T NEED A PORN COMPUTER!”
“YOU WRITE LIKE A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD YOU SHOULDN’T NEED A WRITING COMPUTER!”
UPDATE. SHE THREW THE LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW AND WALKED OFF. HE STOOD THERE LOOKING FORLORN AND THEN CLEARLY REALISED I WAS LOOKING, WAVED AND SHOUTED “NEVER GET A WIFE, LESBIAN NEIGHBOUR.”
I am impressed about two things. 1) I am lesbian neighbour and 2) he knew I was awake.
I’m a little concerned/amused by the amount of notes this post has gotten.
I was just thinking about porn guy and remembered this story. I’m amused again by this. I need to take him a cake on the 1st anniversary of this conversation.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. — Douglas Adams
- me when my computer was new: *gives computer its own room, carefully places pillows around, NOT blocking the fans of course, cleans interior every weekend, reads it bedtime stories and kisses it goodnight*
- me now: *puts sandwich on main vent and listens to the crumbs bounce off my motherboard* yes. eat. grow strong like your father
at Broxbourne